I really do want to participate in my life. I honestly want to help. I absolutely want to live a life worth living. I do not want to be an reasonable burden on those around me. I want all of these things 110%! Now, how to see my remaining strengths and make or discover opportunity built on the rubble while removing the remains of what didn’t work. Emotionally or otherwise.

Note that I said “reasonable”. That is because there truly is some realistic awareness of investment involved in caring for anyone with an illness, mental or otherwise. Born into it, friended into it, married into it, etc. it’s still here and it’s not going away anytime soon. However, there can be times when the burden can become unreasonable and too much to bear. This is when caregivers need support. If they don’t get it – they will leave. For their own well being, they can and will leave. I know.

This can be viewed as a burden or an opportunity. I certainly take work to support and now, unfortunately, no longer “get” things right off the bat. I don’t necessarily see things the way others do or at least it seems I don’t see them as easily.

But it’s not all negative. There are other ways in which I have changed and I’m going to take some time thinking about all of the strengths I still have – stuff upon which we can build.

BTW – Disability is about $600/month. When was the last time you could pay rent and utilities with that much less gas? I know because I almost applied. Instead I pushed through and was able to successfully secure a job I love. I am incredibly lucky.

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