This Bipolar Life: Up in Smoke

So, you think brain fog and memory problems are just minor problems for those of us with bipolar disorder? Well I’m here to tell you adamantly that they aren’t. At least not for me. I forget nearly everything, even with an online and paper calendar.

I routinely forget doctor appointments, for me and for the children. The number of commitments I have had to cancel or apologize for not making it is countless. So far most people have been understanding but that is really the least of it sometimes.

For me the risks associated with this symptom is severe. I will leave the stove off. The oven on. Burn dinner. Set off the smoke alarm. Forgot to lock the door. Run out the door without important paperwork or frequently (way too often) I head out completely ignoring my keys or phone, having to come back inside for one or both.

This is an embarrassing problem to have. How many people do you know that want to apologize nearly daily for causing some harm or put people or things at risk of damage because of my memory issues. It has caused me to consider ECT (Electroshock Therapy) to help manage my overall symptoms and literally shock me out of my current state so I can recover and learn a new normal that eventually includes learning how to do all the things I listed above.

Hey, at least I wouldn’t have to worry about the memory loss side effect of ECT, I’m already all too familiar. So yeah, the memory issue is a pain in the neck but it’s not the end of the world…yet.

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